luv3monsters

Hey, I know there is a new season of the Biggest loser starting January 6th is there any challenges going on that still have room for that? 

I’m looking for a new fitness challenge to keep me going.  I looked at the jog/run challenge and was interested, but I don’t have anywhere to run here.  In the summer for my walking challenge I took the kids with me, but that’s not an option with the cold air causing asthma problems with them.  I used to have a treadmill, but sold it when we moved here due to lack of space.  I need something though!  I just don’t know what.  Please let me know if you have any ideas.  I can do this on my own, but the support of a challenge is so helpful!

So with the stress of it all I had set my goal to allow myself to take some “me” time and focus on my emotional side through the holidays.  I had just reached 199 lbs, onederland!, when I decided to do so so I made the choice to simply try to maintain my 199 lbs over the last few weeks.  I want to let you all know I am still weighing in at exactly 199 lbs!  I’m excited because although I did not lose weight, I was able to keep from gaining!  I am not going to weigh in again until the first Saturday of the new year, and am hoping to then be at 198.  I am ready to do this!  I have a long way to go, I want to atleast lose another 49 lbs.  I’m not looking at it like that though.  I’ve decided to set mini goals that I want to accomplish weekly, but keep in sight 9 lbs total to be a medium mini goal.  Then when the 9 lbs go I’ll set a new medium mini goal.  I really do think that I can do this.  I look at the fact that I’ve lost 15 lbs already and know I can do much more.  Nobody really notices my 15 lbs off, but I know that my clothes actually fit now.  Most of my pants are actually too big now, and I’ve been forced to add a new hole into my belt. 

My husband is showing interest in losing weight, but I worry because he doesn’t want to watch what he eats, or work out at all.  I don’t want to let him bring me down, and I want to lift him up, but I need to find a way to show him that you have to put in the work.  Starting tomorrow I will be limiting my calories to 1393 daily.  That sounds kind of like a lot to me, but 7 times your weight(if you are between 150 and 300 lbs) is what is recommended by the biggest loser.  Money has been super tight with the hoidays, but I am determined to do this, I can eat cheap and healthy!  Let me know if you guys have any suggestions to help my hubby!  Sorry this is so scattered, that’s been my brain lately.  Hugs!

I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately trying to figure out what made me go from 140 lbs to over 200 in hopes of finding a way to get my power back.  When I was 15 years old and 2 months pregnant with my oldest daughter I was raped.  I knew the guy really well, he was actually an ex boyfriend, and friend of my little girl’s father.  You see when I got pregnant me and her father split up and I looked to him only as a friend.  One night I was hanging out with him at a friends house, and after everyone fell asleep I was laying on the couch getting ready to go to sleep myself when he came in and held me down and raped me.  I never pressed charges because my whole family was already mad at me for getting pregnant and I didn’t want them to hate me even more.  After that I did my best to keep it all in and focus on what I ate through my pregnancy.  After Haley was born I was back at 140 in 1 week!  I remained damaged within my own heart and never had anyone I could trust to talk to.  I started eating high caloric foods to make me feel better.  When my daughter was 4 1/2 months I starting dating my husband and while I love him very much he is never there for me, and we’ve had a pretty abusive relationship in many ways ever since.  Anyways, what I’ve realized is that my rapist stole a part of me that night and I need to take it back.  I just don’t know how.  That’s where you guys come in.  I can’t talk to anyone in my family because they wouldn’t believe me or be supportive because they believe that girls who dress “slutty” deserve what they get.  I was only 15 though and I’m sure we’ve all went through that stage.  Anyways, what do I do from here?