Having a down day :(
I’m having problems with my husband and it’s gone from bad to worse and now with the upcoming holidays my initial excitment is completely depression now. My first Thanksgiving and Christmas without my Grandmother and on top of that because he demands on staying home I will not be going to any of my families holiday events. It will just be me, him, the kids, and his father who hates me. I’m so depressed. It’s making it hard for me to feel like moving much less working out, but I know that if I don’t work out then I’ll just feel even worse. I am now down to 199 and I am happy about that, but the fact is that I still have 49-59 lbs to lose and that is a lot to look at. I’m taking it day by day, week by week, and month by month. I refuse to let it be another year by year though. I made some mistakes with our relatonship back last spring and he can’t really forgive me. I am only 22 and trying to handle all that life gives me. I have 3 kids, a house, a husband, a family, and life just isn’t getting any easier. Usually things lighten up this time of the year and I enjoy the holidays, but now I’m having to fake a smile and excitement for my kids that just isn’t really there. My oldest, age 6, has been getting picked on a lot at school and so I’m trying to focus on making her happy about the upcoming things. Then I have my 4 year old, Charity Faith, who is just learning about our traditions and is so excited to help cook and all. I’m trying to help Hunter, 23 months, to finish up his recovery of his tonsilectomy as well. I just want to be happy so badly and don’t know how to take all of this. I love him, but it’s more or less that I need to go back to how I used to be. I need to be to where I don’t ask for his help, wait on him hand and foot(not that that ever changed, he wakes me up at night to get him a drink even!), not show my emotions, act like everything is always fine, cut off my family, not leave or use the phone unless it’s for doctors or school things. I am feeling a lot of pain and resentment and I don’t want that. Any suggestions on how to deal with all of this? Thanks for listening and sorry for rambling.
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Hm that’s tough. That would be very hard for me to not spend the holidays with my family. Have you thought about seeing someone about this? Maybe just a therapist to talk to about it all so maybe you can sort it all out. I know you don’t feel like working out at all right not but it is the best medicine for depression! If you keep doing things for yourself, and losing weight, you will start to at least feel better about YOU.
Wow - sounds a lot like my first marriage - when we divorced I was 25 with 3 kids 5, 4 and 4 months…
I know how hard it is to be that young with that much responsibility and a husband that is so self absorbed and controlling.
It is tough. I wish you could be with your family for Thanksgiving - that would make things better.
I wish I had some great advice for you but all I can say is just make sure you workout - feeling better about yourself is the first step in feeling stronger emotionally. I am sending HUGS your way….
Have you thought about counseling? I get that a lot when I bring up my marriage issues, and I think it’s a good suggestion if your husband will agree to it. You shouldn’t have to sacrifice your happiness so he can be happy, so maybe you guys could find a way to work through it. Also, you might find that if you don’t skip your workouts, you’ll feel better because you’re doing something for you. Hope all goes well, I’ll keep you in my thoughts.
Coming from a family where my dad insisted that we don’t see family on holidays, don’t do it. My mom eventually said screw it and we just went without him. I don’t know what this will do to your marriage, I am just speaking from the kids view because my parents were the exact same. I hope you find some happiness, you deserve it!
Can you go visit family without him? He can sit at home and stew, you need to look out for you and the kids. And as far as waiting on him hand and foot, STOP. He has 2 healthy legs.
Please don’t skip your workouts, you deserve to feel better.
This hit my hot button, I was married to a man like that. YOU deserve to treat yourself special, hugs, Kama
I’m so sorry to hear about your troubles hun :(. I truly hope you can enjoy the holidays.
Be YOURSELF. Do not hide for anyone!!! I suggest TALKING, talk and then maybe some talking. If that does not work…..counseling. I think you already know what you need to do. We are here and behind you!!
Awww Danielle, remember to keep this FOR YOU!!! As a young mom with husbands and kids we tend to do everything for everyone else and forget anything that makes us happy. I know this because I still live this everyday of my life and I have to make a stand for my own happiness. My husband can be a jerk too and my kids are often self centered so I have come to realize that I have to do for me as no one else will. Without my happiness no one else is happy and everything falls apart.
You might look into therapy or even seeing a psychiatrist. A lot of times we are actually depressed and can’t see it because we are so busy and caught up in all that we have to do as moms. I have been on antidepressants before but I am not now, and sometimes you might just need them.
If you need a friend, you know how to find me.