Help I am so depressed!
The last 24 hours my husband has been so mean to me. I love him with all my heart, but he says that all me and the kids are is obligations that he has to pay for. I don’t work out of the home because I have 2 small children and one that just went into kindergarten, but I do babysit for extra money. We are not struggling so I don’t really see why he is being so hateful. Sometimes I think that I should have found a mature man, instead of my 24 year old selfish mean husband. I guess that you can’t help where your heart leads you though. This is killing my diet though. I didn’t go over my calorie limit, but I didn’t eat very healthy either. I am really trying to nourish my body because even though I am 21 I have gave birth to 3 children within the last few years and I am anemic and my body lacks a lot that it should have because I have been constantly giving it to my children through pregnancies. I need to find a way to get over this. I hurt so bad and am finding that I am not wanting to exercise this morning or eat anything at all from the guilt of being so bad yesterday. I would really appreciate any suggestions or support. Thanks you guys. I love you!
~Danielle
XML Feed
Send your husband my over to PA. I’ll set him straight. You know my saying “I’ll beat your head to the white meat”. You don’t deserve to be treated badly. You better knip it in the bud now or it will only get worse.
Don’t turn to food we are here if you just need to vent.
You did the right thing coming here. Where else are you going to get such wonderful positive support! Try to turn your husband out, I know it might be hard, but that would be the best thing for now. Take some you time in the morning if you can to meditate and exercise your way to a more positive energy. Even though your husband is being negative, allowing yourself only positive energy into your body will make things alot better trust me! Dont turn to food, turn to us!
Look inside yourself, and find a happy place…don’t turn to food and just tune your husband in…and if that doesn’t work, tune him out. You’re busy working to be a better you, and he’ll eventually appreciate that, even if he doesn’t understand the work that goes in!
If nothing else, follow your diet and exercise so you can SHOW him a better you…and thus show him up!
So sorry to hear your husband is such a jerk…Do what you have to do for yourself and take joy in the little ones….he may just have not grown up yet…
Thanks everyone. You guys are so sweet. I just did a kickboxing workout and every punch was for him. I feel a lot better now. I think that will help me a lot and thanks for allowing me to vent here. I think that sometimes all you need it someone to listen. Thanks guys, I love you!
~Danielle
Men - can’t live with em’ period. - hahaha! I’m so glad you took out your frustration on a good work out today! We’re here for you if you need us!
I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’ve found that husbands and wives need to grow and mature together and if one won’t, that person is dooming the marraige. I’d lay that out there for him, while showing him how mature and positive you are. Maybe he’ll decide its time to catch up with you. Good luck with everything!
Danielle……
I am so sorry that you had to go through that. Truly I am.
I have been in your shoes and know exactly how it feels.
My ex used to pull that crap with me too, in the hateful words department…trust me not the supporting us one.
I would ignore him and do only for me and the kids. It would drive him crazy, but got my point across.
Is he like this often or was this a rare occurance?
Exercise is perfect to let the steam out! Hang in there!
For the first 3 years we were together he was physically abusive, then that stopped and he has just moved to emotional things. We were actually doing well when I got pregnant with my son, actually all the way up til he was about 4 months old. Then I lost 20 lbs and he started changing. Picking on me all the time about what I didn’t get done, etc. Then I packed the weight back on, and then some and it seemed like he was being better. Then about the last 2 months things have been crap again. I hate this, but I love him. I want to go to counselling, but he wont go. I just don’t know what to do. I am focusing on me and my kids and making that be my priority for now over putting up with him. Thanks for being here guys!
Love, Danielle
I am going to try this again…I posted a blog to you before, but it didnt go through. I went through a very bad first marriage. My husband was both physical and mentally abusive. I took it for so long because I didnt have any where to go. After about 10 years. I had had enough. I walked out one day and now I am married to a wonderful man who treats me with love and respect. My prayers are with you sweetie. Hang in there, and know that we are all here for you…
Thanks so much iodine1960. I think sometimes about being with someone who really loves me. I just wonder why I couldn’t ever be loved. My mom left when I was 10 and my dad worked all the time. I guess that’s when everything just fell apart. I am praying for God to help me to forgive people and for him to lead me in life where I should be, or help my husband to find the love in him that he once had. Every time he’s mean I remember how things were when I had my son. I had to have a c-section and he was so there for me. Then he had to be home with our other 2 kids and my son was in the sick nursery so I was really lonely and he called me with a song to me. It was Brad Paisley’s Your Everything to Me. It fit us so good and I felt so loved. It is a bitter sweet memory because I loved that moment so much, but I wonder if anything even close to that will ever be around again. I really do love him, I just wish he loved me too. Thanks guys for being there for me.
Actually it’s called She’s Everything. The song that is
My prayers are with you no matter what. Just hang in there, and know that we are all here for you.
Lori
(((BIG HUGS))) It sounds to me like he might feel threatened every time you start to lose weight. People that are insecure will try hard to keep other people down. You are unfortunetly convenient because you have stayed with him in spite of his past abuse to you. You are young though and CAN turn this around. You teach people how to treat you and you can grow and learn in this relationship. You know even though he will not go to counseling does not mean you can’t! Get yourself mentally strong and able to handle him, if you want to stay wiht him. Otherwise life is way to short to allow someone to be hateful to you. I had a very rough childhood and with age and maturity have overcome most of my past issues, I wish the same for you!
Thanks!!!! I will do my best. Love you guys!
He used to be physically abusive, now he’s verbally abusive… there’s a pattern here that you need to keep in mind. First of all, you need to find a way to boost your own self-esteem with or without his support. Getting healthy is a great way to do that.
Of course you want the support of your husband, but if he’s not going to give it, you can’t let him control you and keep you down like that. If you want his respect (and support), you will have to demand it - stand for nothing less! If you need to, find a strong woman to emulate who takes no crap. Model your behavior after hers, at least to some degree, until you find yourself feeling stronger.
I know this because I was you several years ago.
One of my favorite quotes: “Being yourself is overrated. Be whoever you d…ed well want to be!”
Thanks. I have found that working out and getting stronger physically is making me stronger mentally. I told him last night to shut up about my weight because I have lost 6 lbs in my 2 weeks. His response was “you always lose some and then gain back way more”. This time things were different I didn’t just take it and feel hurt. I said no this time I am doing it for me, not some stupid jerk who likes to put people down when he’s not perfect himself!” I never would have said anything back, but it was the truth. I do love him, but we have a lot of work to do. Thanks for being here guys!
Look after yourself sweetheart. You are a strong girl to have gone through so much so young. Your husband has said some really nasty things to you. You’re entitled to feel upset and hurt. Get a workout if you have a chance when the babies are asleep and switch off. And I shouldn’t work out with him (if you know what I mean) unless he treats you like the lady you are.